i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I think people are normalizing furries
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
