If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
