I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
