i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize