let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
