I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
