do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
