My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
