What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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