Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
