New invention idea: vibrating tampons
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I just forgot I was standing up.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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