I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
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