Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I wish you could order shots online.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
