You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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