You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
