Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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