I hate your face
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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