You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
