We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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