if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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