you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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