I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
