He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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