remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
