We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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