wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
