i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
