you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
