i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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