at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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