when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
i think my cat just said my name.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
