I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
