I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
