Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
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