i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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