I'm drive I can fine osifer
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
