i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize