A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
