So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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