His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize