I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
