things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
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