Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
