Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
