he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
