Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
