I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize