I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
