there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
