Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
