He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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