I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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