So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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