Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize