THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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