Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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