Well apparently he's into motor boating.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
