Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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