Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
