things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
