that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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