Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
What a dumb baby whore.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
