I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
