It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
