So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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