I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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