Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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