Your tits are I can't wait for
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
i need to put some appletini on your dick
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
